Why didn't she just go to a hospital?

I'm standing outside of the cave high up in the mountains of Crete where Hera supposedly went to give birth to Zeus.

A Viennese and a Hendersonian lost in Crete

We're so happy because we just discovered that Greek salads really ARE the same in Greece as in America.

A sunburn in the making, Greek-style

Greek Roulette

Just got back from our vacation in Greece, which turned out in some ways to be more stressful than our regular-life vacation in Vienna. We got a last-minute package deal called 'Roulette,' meaning that we wouldn't know which hotel we would be staying at in Crete until arrival. The only thing guaranteed was that we would be in an all-inclusive 4 star hotel at least 100 meters from the beach. What we actually got was a "3-star" hotel (I put that in quotes because it was actually, by American standards, a 1-star hotel, as you can see from the photo above) with access to a "5-star" hotel (read: 3-star) for our all-inclusive needs: pools, crappy buffet, bar that served free drinks out of dixie cups till only 11 pm, fitness center that was only free between 10 am and 2 pm, etc. There was a COAST nearby but no actual BEACH nearby. We had to walk a half hour to the nearest beach. To top it off, we were staying in a room with two single beds, no double bed. When we talked to the travel guide about our unhappy situation, she was more or less like, "a 3-star hotel plus 5-star all-inclusive service equals a 4-star package," which means, "I aint doin nothin to help you!" So our first day and a half were spent reeling from the shock of our disappointment.

After we got over it, we just rented various modes of transportation to make our daily escape from our roulette nightmare. Then the fun started. We rented a moped one day and spent hours winding through dry, dusty, rocky mountains and tiny Cretan villages with old men sitting in chairs by the side of the road. We rented a car for two days and headed across the island to a city called Xania with beautiful tight streets and charming colorful buildings reminiscent of an Italian city. The harbor there was spectacular, complete with the clear blue-green waters that surround Crete and a lighthouse. It was perfect! On the way home, we stopped at a roadside beach to swim in the sunset. The next day we headed to a plateau high in the mountains to visit the cave where Zeus was born, and on the way Stefan let me drive our rental Hyundai for a little while. It was the first time I had driven in over a year, and Stefan only peed in his Speedos twice.

That afternoon we went to the most dangerous water park I have ever been to or could imagine. It appears the Greek have just about as many regulations in regards to safety standards as do the Mexicans. I'm glad to still be alive.
On our last day, we rented another moped, and headed to a nearby beach for a day, where I got the inevitable searing sunburn after forgetting to apply sunblock once upon leaving the water. That's the only souvenir I brought back with me.

On the morning of our departure, the bus that was supposed to pick us and a couple of other families up from our hotel to transport us to the airport left EARLY, so we missed it. It was set to leave at 3:45 am, and at 3:45 we were at the entrance waiting. No bus, no other families. Seeing as there was no receptionist at our hotel (the family that owns it was asleep), Stefan went to the 5-star hotel, where they called a cab for us. The cab driver, who happened to live next door to our hotel, was asleep as well, but soon came straggling out of his house, wiping the sleep from his eyes, happy to charge us 50 Euros for our ride to the airport.