My beloved students...

Last month one of my sweet students named John sent me a couple of awesome emails that I couldn't resist sharing. He needed me to answer questions for one of his English classes at his university, so he was really trying to butter me up:

HI! ANNIE. I'M JOHN WHO YOUR YBM CLASS STUDENT. FIRST, THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAVOR. IF YOU DON'T HELP ME, I WOULD'NT FINISH MY HOMEWORK. YOU ARE VERY KIND AND BEAUTIFUL TEACHER. I'M SERIOUS. ^^
ANNIE, I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS. WOULD YOU LIKE TO ANSWER MY QUESTIONS? IF YOU ARE RIGHT, I WILL START QUESTIONS.

COULD YOU TELL ME WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

HOW DID YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION TO KOREA? PEOPLE ARE KIND OR IMPOLITE, HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL, ANYTHING ELSE.

DO YOU LIKE KOREAN FOOD? IF YOU LIKE THIS, I SUGGEST TO VERY DELICIOUS KOREAN FOOD. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN 'GAMJATANG'? IT IS VERY HOT AND DELICIOUS. I BELIEVE THAT YOU LIKE 'SOJU'. 'GAMJATANG' IS VERY GOOD PARTNER WITH 'SOJU.' I WILL TELL YOU WHAT 'GAMJATANG' IS. 'GAMJA' IS POTATO. AND 'TANG' IS SOUP. THEREFORE 'GAMJATANG' IS KOREAN STYLE POTATO SOUP. BUT IT MAKES USE OF RED PEPPER. SO IT IS VERY HOT. IF YOU EAT THIS, YOUR CLOTHES ARE ALL SWEAT. JUST KIDDING. DON'T AFRAID ABOUT THIS FOOD. IF YOU EAT THIS, YOU WILL ABSOLUTELY LIKE THIS.

AND MAY I ASK THE NEXT QUESTION?

I'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW IS YOUR KOREAN LIFE? PERHAPS YOU HAVE TO ADJUST YOURSELF TO THE NEW ENVIRONMENT. IS IT EASY OR HARD?

AND COULD YOU TELL ME HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO ANOTHER COUNTY IN ASIA? OR ALL OF THE WORLD. WHERE IS THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE GONE? COULD YOU RECOMMEND THE PLACE TO TRAVEL? I LIKE GO TO TRIP. IF YOU RECOMMEND SOME PLACE, I WILL GO TO TRIP THERE.

COULD YOU TELL ME HOW DO I STUDY ENGLISH? I WANT TO MY ENGLISH GETTING BETTER. I WANT TO YOUR ADVICE. IF I BECOME A GOOD ENGLISH SPEAKER, I WANT TO MAKE FOREIGN FRIENDS.

ANNIE, DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS IN KOREA? FELL FREE TO ASK ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION. YOU CAN ALWAYS ASK ME. I WILL ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION. IT'S MY PLEASURE.

MY QUESTIONS ARE OVER. THANK YOU FOR READ AND ANSWER MY QUESTIONS. IF YOU WANT, I WILL EAT 'GAMJATANG' WITH YOU.^^ AND WITH A BOTTLE OF 'SOJU'?^^

I LIKE YOUR CLASS. IT IS SO FUNNY AND VERY USEFUL. IT HELPS MY COMMAND OF ENGLISH GETTING BETTER. YOU ARE BEST ENGLISH TEACHER WHO I HAVE MET BEFORE.

THANK YOU ANNIE~ I'LL STUDY HARD IN YOUR CLASS. I WANT TO YOUR GOOD FRIEND AND GOOD STUDENT. HAVE A NICE WEEKEND AND SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

After I sent a reply answering all of his questions, I got this message from him:

HI~ ANNIE~ THANKS FOR YOUR E-MAIL. HOW DO YOU FEEL? HAVE YOU GOTTEN COLD YET? DID YOU SEE A DOCTOR? I THINK YOU HAVE TO NEED A REST. I HOPE TO YOU WILL GET BETTER.

YOU ARE SO KIND TEACHER. YOU ARE THE KINDEST TEACHER I HAVE EVER SEEN. YOUR ADVICE IS A LOT OF HELP TO MY ENGLISH GETTING BETTER. IT IS THE REASON WHAT I LIKE YOU. ^^ AND YOU ARE PRETTY.^^ DO I SEND A FLATTERY TO YOU?

ANYWAY, THANKS A LOT. I WILL STUDY HARD. COULD YOU HELP ME ANNIE?^^ I WILL BE A GOOD STUDENT.

HAVE A NICE EVENING. AND SEE YOU WEDNSDAY.

My coworkers and I often share stories of the sweet (and sometimes evil) things our students say, as well as the funny English names that the students come up with. Here are some of the best ones for guys:

Rambo
Gemstone
Dancing Boy (this was a 60-yr-old man)
Mr. Ha (a 22-yr-old)
Bread (after 3 months the teacher figured out he meant 'Brad')
Genghis Kahn
Bass
Bleng
Palex (I later figured out he meant 'Felix')

And for girls:
Annie :)
Easy

Also, speaking of evil things that students say, here are some of the comments made by students:
The other day we were talking about plastic surgery in one of my high-level classes, and one of my students told me, "I think you need skin care. I can recommend a good doctor." I have no zits, so I guess he was talking about the multitude of wrinkles I've acquired since arriving in Korea.
One of my coworkers who DOES have zits has gotten several comments from students about the poor condition of his skin.
And another student told a teacher that she should go to a karaoke room because you can burn a lot of calories by singing. That was his not-so-subtle way of telling her she's fat.

Finally, I must share a story that a student told me about her friend (we'll call this person Min Ju) who went to the US. Min Ju went to McDonald's and tried to order a McChicken sandwich. In the US, as you know, we pronounce 'McChicken' with the emphasis on the letter 'i': McChIcken. Well, the Koreans put he emphasis on the first syllable, and they pronounce 'Mc' like 'MAC'. So Min Ju says to the cashier, "I'd like a MACchicken." The cashier says, "What?" and Min Ju repeats, "A MACchicken, please." The cashier turns around and hollers to the kitchen, "Jose, someone's here to see you!" and up walks this Mexican guy to the counter.